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Life is Hard . . .

Life is hard. Especially today. OK, today might not be the worst it could be. Maybe it was just a little hard. But, it isn't easy.

I'm in pain. You're thinking, "Well, duh, you have chronic migraine." Actually, though, I have a new pain. Just to keep life interesting. I've been having pelvic pain during the time I would normally have my period, and it's lasting longer than a period would. I had the lining of my uterus fried (endometrial ablation, in technical terms) a year and a half ago, but the pain appears to have come back. Blah. So, I'm scheduled for a hysterectomy on November 20. Yay! It's a month away so I can get a shot that will put me into artificial menopause so we can decide whether or not to remove my ovaries at surgery. (I have a 30% chance of my migraines getting worse if my doc takes out my ovaries. Weird, huh?) Problem. My insurance doesn't want to pay for the shot. No biggie. Except that said shot is $2000!! For a shot in the butt! That's causing as much pain as my uterus right now! My doctor has resubmitted the paperwork to the insurance, so I'm waiting to see what happens.

My aunt is failing. My mother is the youngest of 12 siblings. Her only living sibling is her oldest sister who is 96 years old. Aunt Chris has been living with my parents for almost two years now, in the "apartment" in the downstairs of my parents' house. She had been doing great, independent in most of her activities of daily life, but going upstairs for breakfast and dinner. She was rather forgetful, but she's 96. In the last three months, though, she's really gone downhill. She's had some falls; she doesn't let Mom take her to the beauty shop; she needs help with her activities of daily life. Basically, she's very frail. Aunt Chris has been more like a grandmother to me than my own grandmothers, one of whom died before I was born, and the other of whom died when I was 7. I've stayed with my parents several times over the last couple of years when Mom and Dad needed surgery, so I was taking care of Mom, Dad, and Aunt Chris. I'm a little anxious about my aunt right now. My mom is a natural caregiver and a former critical care nurse, so I'm not worried about the care that my aunt is getting. I just wish I was there. You know what I mean . . .

But, there are good things in life. Some of them require effort on my part, but they are good. We have a young man living with us right now. He's 18 years old and still in high school. He needed a place to live and we had extra room. He's a joy to have around. So, when I talk about Noah, that's him!

I'm knitting like crazy on my Christmas gifts. I might actually finish them all on time this year!! Lydia and Chris wanted knitted Christmas stockings like Patrick and I have, so I bought the book (Mason Dixon Knitting) and asked for color preferences and I'm almost done with stockings for Lydia, Chris, Jenna, and Noah. Yes, I'm an overachiever, why do you ask?

Speaking of Chris and Jenna, they are engaged!!!

Look at those smiles!! The wedding will be in summer of 2020!

So, yes, life is hard. There's no way around it. We just hang on. I see my counselor every month to make sure I don't fall off the deep end. I practice spiritual disciplines. I occasionally eat a vegetable.

How do you deal with this hard life? Suggestions or recommendations?


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